Darth Vader: The Epic Truth
by Dr. A. Vader
Summary: Journey with Darth Vader through his first person narrative of how everything "really went down." This Epic Truth Saga will continue to grow with Time, so check back for more chapters and revelations, if you dare.
1. Chapter 1

Can I just go on record and say this? Sometimes, peeps just get it wrong…REAL WRONG. The fact of the matter is this: people are quick to believe what they hear; and when someone has an agenda and starts running around like a chicken with its head cut off flappin' its lips to high heaven, the odds of that particular idiot happening to convince folks of those false facts are statistical brilliance, really.

You say you all want the truth? You really want the truth? Truth is, you all can't handle the truth. The secondary part of that truth is, I can't find it within my ethics to suppress the truth any longer, and therefore, I shall cast my pearls before predominate swine, hoping that a few brilliant souls will be inspired to grow beyond the fifth that is filtering our existence into the nothingness it is rapidly becoming.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the most caustic episode of revelation your geeky eyeballs have ever beheld:

Once upon a time, in a fucked up galaxy not so far away, a child was born with a Midichlorian count that made the richter scale look like a fucking joke. That child was me. At first, there was a lot of persecution from morons with "lesser-than" IQ's, some attempted molestations and rapes from black hole souls that wished they could steal my natural born power from me, and a hell of a lot of slavery. Really sucked. Really sucked, a lot. But enough about that and onto other details.

After finally busting lose of the literal ball and chain (and no, I don't mean marriage), the polar opposite of all I had ever known flourished at my feet…literally, again. "The Chosen One" was what they called me. Many stood in awe at my existence…bowed at my feet with bliss at the thought of the fulfillment of the prophecy that was to eventually come. It happened all the time. It happened everywhere. Honestly? I never liked that kind of attention very much. I always found it ridiculous, although I was extremely grateful for the support. I don't know…maybe it's because I came from nothing. Maybe it's because the Force has always been so strong with me that I've always simply come to understand its leanings without prejudice or pedestal elevation. I'm not quite sure. I just saw no point in standing in supreme shock and awe of what existed, especially when it was prophesied to occur. I always felt like that kind of behavior revealed such little faith in what we all claim to believe in…almost as if they never truly believe the prophecy was ever going to be fulfilled. It's this lack of faith on the whole that always seems to destroy a society and isolate it from the one who grants us the Force to begin with, as well as all our prophesies - JEHOVAH God. And that's the LAST entity we need to be isolated from, for without Him the Force is nothing and without Him we fail.

I continued to excel in ability, prowess, speed and aptitude. All who observed continued to applaud and encourage. Funny thing, applause is. You may think you don't need attention. You may think you only need encouragement. You would be right in your personal conclusion. Unfortunately, most people only offer encouragement with applause, so you can bet your bottom dollar that when one disappears, so will the other. Again, this had nothing to ever do with "me" personally, nor will it ever have anything to do with you, but beware, because even the wise can't seem to surpass this folly as of yet. Also, don't be surprised when they blame you for all of it, cuz the "scapegoat" business seems to be what everyone is buying stock in these days. So if you're gonna be a hero, bank on the fact that your ass is gonna get totally sold down the river, and become content with that concept…FAST.

I think I have to say one of my favorite complaints from the people I sacrificed so much of my body and life to help would be the whole "He's such a whiny, arrogant, asshole that we all can't even…" complaint. Every time I hear another one of those, I gotta straight out admit it, I lift my head to the sky and howl aloud with full blown laughter. Really. REALLY. Really? Whiny, huh? Well let's see. I suppose a checklist and an honesty audit the size of bloody Texas just might be in order, here.

Here goes:

I was fearless, and you were not.

I did the jobs you wouldn't dare touch with a pinky toenail.

I whooped criminal ass that victimized YOU so that YOU could have YOUR Life back.

When you cried, I came.

When you complained of a problem, I showed up and took care of it.

When you needed to be rescued, I dove headfirst into your bullshit and pulled you out.

Any further questions? Or how about complaints? I thought not…

And this whole "arrogance" debacle of a debate. I suppose we may as well deal with that tomfoolery as well and get it out of the way. By far, I am NOT arrogant. Are you kidding me? If I was arrogant, I would have whooped all y'all into shape and forced you to serve my ass by now. Immean let's be real here…I am Darth Vader, after all. Bitch, don't act like I couldn't…

No, my dear little obnoxious pricks. I am NOT arrogant. I am confident. I am so incredibly sorry that you have developed a social aversion to confidence in your modern societal and political structure, but in case you haven't noticed, your family units, your political systems, your financial systems, and yes, even your entire ecosystem encompassing your planet are ALL failing quite rapidly. Perhaps, it is because you all seem to lack the confidence to stand up against the peer pressure that surrounds you and to stand confidently on your beliefs of right and wrong. Perhaps, you are not even confident enough to allow yourself to develop a schema of right and wrong, so that you may act upon it, accordingly. And do you really all wonder why you are failing and floundering? Is it not apparent to you that you are living evolutionally "backwards" and that everything in this planet is destructing, accordingly? Try to become more "arrogant" in order to save yourselves, by all means…you could use a dose, evidently.

You fear me because I am confident in my abilities. I am confident in my abilities because I have honed my skill and have persevered through many trials. The fact of the matter is, each and every one of you could do the exact same as I have within the scope of your JEHOVAH-given abilities. The difference between me and you is simply this: I choose to use the Force and you do not. Therefore, I have confidence, and you do not. I also have skill, and you do not. I have power, and you do not. Don't like it? Don't waste your immature breath calling my ass "arrogant." Focus on restructuring such frivolous and wasted activity into practicing and becoming your future "you." By all means, join me, and evolve.

The other reason we are different is because I am the opposite of arrogant, when in fact you ARE arrogant. Allow me to explain. I am humble enough to admit that I am nothing without JEHOVAH and YESHUA. I admit openly that my gifts and usage of the Force come solely from JEHOVAH's wisdom and His bestowing of it upon me thereof. I am willing to allow him to mold me into exactly who I should be…to allow Him to point out my horrible failures. I then attempt to correct those failures and repent of the shit I've pulled…to forgive myself and to forgive others…and of course and importantly, to put on love. You, on the other hand, have yet to humble yourself before your Creator. You have yet to repent of your wrong doing. You have yet to put on love for the rich and poor alike…for the fatherless and widowed, accordingly. So don't go bitching about my "arrogance" until you call the mother fucking lumberjack to pull that big ass son of a bitch log right out of your vision, cuz you are seriously missing the point, people.

You have spent your years railing against JEHOVAH and attempting to kick Him out of everything good He has bestowed upon you - down to the innocence of a child's belief system within a scholastic structured environment. You should be ashamed of yourselves. If you're not, you most certainly will be, as pride cometh before a fall.

You have cast your words in an attempt to bind people to their past, to their sins, to their so-called crimes - never allowing them the chance to receive forgiveness. You have drug them through hell after their stars have fallen from the sky, removing all hope and all respect, liberty, and decency from them. You have thrown people away for the rest of their existence, albeit insisting upon insisting upon their miserableness all the while, as far as it depended upon all of you so-called "do-gooders." Does this sound like a nation that is about to become "powerful" to you? No. It sounds like a nation on the brink of complete and utter destruction, solely from the ramification of the effects of selfishness alone. No extra punishment needed - the observed and unchecked selfishness will reap enough damage all on its own.

I hope you're listening.

I hope I have captured your attention.

I don't need your attention.

Honestly, I don't want your attention.

But believe me, your existence and the havoc you are personally wreaking upon it begs for your attention.

I'll let all this sink in for now before I drop more of this Epic Truth in your jam of pills to swallow - I'd hate for it to get all "jammed up" and never make it down to be digested and utilized.

Stay tuned.


	2. An Intro Into Obi Wan Kenobi

Yea, but it is a night to remember. A night which is ruled by the chaos of wind and terror. Never will it let me sleep, for it knows in the depths of its universal soul that the wrongs must be righted or it will never be restored to the right within which it will find rest. It knows it must be done. And, as Nature is often far wiser and stronger than man and the very core of his sewn-together entity of rock, clay and the droplets of moisture that he has so harvested from Mother Nature herself, it has taken it upon itself to shake the very foundations of my existence unless and until such wrong has been rewritten.

So here I am. Sleepless. Writing. As it must be done. As it is insisted should and will be done. And as the wood inside my fragile dwelling heaves from the weight of the sky's pain, bearing with all its strength the blows of the night's anger upon its weathered exoskeleton, and as the surroundings dig their roots deep within the earth, within all the burrows and crevices it can find to take hold of, I sit here, amidst it all, writing. Amazed at the concept that somehow, radio waves manage to penetrate the ferocity of the storm...the storm that determines all of our fates and destinies.

No one ever expects that one and only one "storm" will do the evil trick, but just like clockwork orange on methanphetamines and mixed with far more bullshit, it works every time like a witches rotten charm.

I suppose Nature found the metaphor of its "natural self" as a savvy segue into exactly what must be discussed.

The unexpected.

The unforeseen.

The unnatural.

The overturning of the entire world as we have ever known it by one single "storm."

The storm is never expected.

The storm is never predicted.

The storm is never foreseen in the fullness of its wrath.

Yet the storm is the storm.

And the storm will rage until it has reached its fill of havoc.

Unless, of course, the storm can be averted altogether.

These things are possible.

These things are doable.

And since history believes in the hypothesis of circle theory and consistently repeats itself, the odds of overturning our misfortunes lie valiantly in our balance.

The question that remains, is this: Are we valiant enough to take up that cause?

We all better answer "yes" to that question. If the answer is no, then my ass is coming back to haunt you as a horrid psychopomp spectre...and honestly, I wouldn't wish that on the worst of creatures. So don't be a coward. Be men. Be women. Be human. Be heroes.

What I must say you will not like to hear. You will more than likely push it away, pawning it off as illogical argument spawned by a scorned soul, when it initially hits your palette. I care not what you think of me. Remember that. YOU may care what people think of YOU, but that is YOU and not ME. I am nothing like you. I never have been, and I never will be. Your assumptions and fears may eventually learn to take consolace in that fact. They should, but they often don't. Far too often, you have been ruled by the very fears that you have claimed destroy all goodness. Do not let your fear turn off your ear. By all means, don't.

And now, I must do what I hate the most - disclose what I believe has been the utmost betrayal of all. I must speak out against a mentor, a brother, a father, and a friend. It breaks me, to the very core of my being to have to draw such clear conclusions for us all, but I cannot look back on the past any longer and stomach the thought that the truth is a current back of cigarette bullshit we are all smoking. Much to everyone's surprise, I am sure, I cannot stand lies. I despise them. Why else do you think my wife would ask me, amidst my own stupidity at thinking we could lie and hide a "secret relationship," if I honestly and logically thought that I could pull such a scheme off? She knew deep down that I could never continuously perpetuate any form of fraud, even out of decency, not even out of love...and she was right, evidently. She knew me well...she knew me better than I knew myself. She still does.

Please remember, as I go through this, that often what is "unsaid," albeit even what is "said" that holds a specific appearance and connotation, is often what tells all. Statements of truth are often uttered in entendre as well as simply left unanswered in the face of being questioned. It is the enemy's way of spitting clearly and accurately in your face. What a better vengeance than to destroy your nemesis when, in fact, you spoke the truth to him all along! How utterly evil. How despicably cruel. Do you believe a sith to be of any nature higher than this? I assure you, he is not.

Ever heard of the old adage, "A wolf in sheep's clothing?" Why is it that we forget the simplest of wisdom. These and many other reasons I truly believe is why YESHUA claims that unless we come to Him as "little children" we will not see the Kingdom of Heaven. He knows we are blind and that we convolute truth with our piety and pride. We want it to be complicated. We want it to be distorted. We want to create our own truth. What foolish creatures we have all become. And unless we turn from such stupidity, we all deserve whatever may continuously come as a result of it.

All of us.

Enough. The truth. Here it is. Look no farther than Obi Wan Kenobi. That is the truth. And I shall now explain it to you, in detail and in motive.

None of this will be in any logical order to your liking, and I will never again make any apologies for it, by the way. I will tell you the truth as it best suits my nature, and considering you need ME and my nature, you all can damn well get over it...and get over your own selves while your at it. Quit being so ethnocentric. Quit trying to force me to be like you and force my acceptance into your world upon my doing so. I am no weak, pathetic traitor to my cause...therefore, I will not betray myself and who I am at my very core just to suit your liking. Deal with it. Evolve. Expect more from your elite and perhaps you will get more in your future. It's wisdom. Please don't make it a "pearl before swine" scenario for me, once again, as before. I'm counting on you all to be different. I am different. I have grown. The Universe has grown. It is the scientific and spiritual fundamental mathematics of nature for all things to evolve...not devolve. So get going.

Let's start here...when Obi Wan Kenobi decided to tell me NOTHING as he began to leave, following the council meeting, and prior to the uproar of all bullshit. Odd, is it not, that I...the "padawan" had to tell my master "May the Force be with you" as he simply walked away from the conversation? It is not like his nature to do so. He is normally the first to initiate such an encouragement and Godspeed, as he is the leader of this "outfit." So why was this time different? Better yet, why was his initial response "Goodbye, my old friend" BEFORE he spoke "May the Force be with you?" For heaven's sake, who the FUCK is dying?! "Goodbye, my old friend?" That's an extremely strong and implicative statement to make. It implies a parting of an eternal nature. Seriously. I'm not in the damn mood to break out the a + b = c on the matter, so feel free to break out your Freud and DSM V of your own accord, but nevertheless, cognitive logic would tell you that the statement would very much qualify as odd, and a possible Freudian slip.

So, apparently, Obi Wan Kenobi was intending for that to be the last time he said "goodbye" to his "old friend." Interesting. After all, he figured he was only out for a wild bantha chase of bullshit, right? He wasn't fearing for his life, according to his notation on the matter. So why the parting? I certainly didn't see his demise in my mind's eye, nor did he himself, nor did the council...so what was Obi Wan's excuse for this being our "goodbye" unless he secretly knew something that we all did not know?

Food for thought, my friends.

I especially am angrily fond of the fact that his first intent to locate me was to bramble once again...ALONE...to my pregnant wife's home...MY home...to instill lies and fear into her fragile soul. As a Jedi, how could he be so moronic, if it were not for his own best interest? To tell a pregnant woman what he "believed" to be the case about her mate...the soon to be father of her children? How torturous. How unlike a Jedi. How similar to a sith.

Allow me to remind you that he clearly told my wife that I became Darth Sidious' new apprentice AFTER Count Dooku was killed. Well, here we go with that good ole' entendre bullshit. Of course, I had become his "new apprentice," but anyone with a brain and an ounce of dignity would have to question how I could just jump ship from one side to the other after all of the painful sacrifices I have made for the good of those who intend to consistently shit upon me regardless. DUH. I mean really. Was everyone looking for someone to blame? Because that is exactly how it appears "from the outside" where you have placed me. And that it exactly what occurred.

Back to the point. Yes...obviously I became "Darth Sidious' apprentice" FOLLOWING the death of Count Dooku...but it wasn't some "immediate" thing as Obi Wan Kenobi tried to paint it to my wife through his statements. There he was, sitting on my couch, with my wife, trying to twist her arm into believing that ALL this time, I had been some sick mother fucker, selling out the Jedi Order like some sniveling traitor and spy unto the Empire for a plethora of time. My ass. I would never do such a thing. She KNEW I would never do such a thing. She TOLD him that. And what did he do then? Drop the low blow and ask her who the father of her child was, insisting upon the fact that it must be mine. She gave him silence, and he gave her further cruelty, by adding his sarcastic and arrogant retort of "I'm so sorry."

Any man with an ounce of dignity would NOT do such a thing to a woman bearing a child. No man who follows the teachings of the Jedi Order would act in such a way.

Don't forget that he dropped that low blow AFTER he let her know that he was planning on killing the father of her unborn children TO HER FACE. Yep. What a charmer. What a leader. What a fucking jerk.

Then Obi Wan Kenobi hijacks my wife's aircraft in order to find me. That's fine...by all means, stalk away. But did he wait until she left to approach me? Did he have the decency to let this pregnant and helpless woman avoid the sight of the shedding of my own blood before her very eyes? No. He did not. It was his sick intent that she see such things.

He could have easily snuck off the ship. We all know how many exits and hatches are on those damn things. He didn't have to do that to her, and yet he did. He wanted to make a scene...to frame the picture he was painting...to have an audience to manipulate.

Obi Wan Kenobi knew FULL WELL that his exiting her ship in all his arrogance would imply upon me to think that she had brought him there. He was privy to our personal conversations (and who knows how many, depending on how many he secretly may have listened to under the abusive excuse of being my "mentor.")

And about the "account" of what happened between me and Mr. Obi Wan Kenobi on Mustafar that day...how many counts of that story to you have, again? Oh yes...that's right...ONE. One very tainted and well spun tale by the one and only Mr. Kenobi himself. My love Padmae certainly didn't live long enough to give a retelling of that day's events, and NO ONE sure as hell came to me for any sort of an explanation, so really...WHAT verification of that day's events do you really have to go by, other than the "good, honorable word" of Obi Wan Kenobi.

A lot of people died that day. It was all unexpected. Even the doctor has no bloody explanation for what the fuck happened to my wife. She was alive when I last felt her energy before I was left to be burnt into a damn near unconscionable crisp, following the mutilation and abandonment of my corpse by...once again...Obi Wan Kenobi. So please, explain to me HOW exactly she died? He was the last person left alone with her prior to her visit to the hospital.

What I find most interesting is that Darth Sidious KNEW to immediately tell me that Padmae was dead upon my awakening, when in fact, she was still not dead. She was slipping away, but not yet dead, as she was giving what was left of her beautiful life to the two twins' births. What a coincidence...Padmae is dying beyond any knowledge that the doctor can ratify or explain, it was evident that Padmae had not given up hope on me or our beautiful new born children, and somehow Sidious knows these things. Again, the last person that was left alone with her was Obi Wan Kenobi. She was also my ONLY witness to the events that took place on Mustafar. Coincidence? I think not.

Believe me, I am aware that we are all a pile of crazy warlocks that can wield the Force and know a bunch of shit that we shouldn't at any given time, but you would have to be a blundering idiot to not see that this "Force" business sounds like a great excuse for what appears to be the obvious case, under the circumstances.

On to the next state of business - the killing of the younglings. Excuse me. Are we NOT in the middle of a "clone war?" Were not "Clone Armies" being made for the last ten damn years BEHIND the council's back? Were not these leaders on Camino "awaiting Obi Wan Kenobi" for TEN YEARS?! What the fuck would they say that for unless they were, in fact, waiting for him? Is it really rocket science that the overconfident Darth Sidious, who had clearly delineated for eons that he planned on swiping me from the Jedi Order to be his Dark Apprentice, had already harvested a clone or two...or ten billion...of my own self? Immean if you were a Dark Lord who wanted to seriously frame or blackmail somebody into being excommunicated and tossed into your territory, wouldn't you?

And who was my mentor? Who would have access to my blood and its tests and results...other than the man that I called "father" following the loss of my true adopted father, Qui Gon Jinn? The very obvious answer to those questions is the one and only Obi Wan Kenobi.

The point is, my dear idiots, that I NEVER killed those younglings. I would NEVER do such a thing. For FUCK'S SAKE, I was about to have my OWN children! What on earth?! After all that I have done for you people...after all that I have sacrificed...after all of the obvious disclaimers to the story you have tried to pawn off as truth...how DARE you sit back, relax, and enjoy my destruction with your pile of lies. You know the truth. You KNOW in your hearts that I could never and would never do such an atrocity. How disgusting and how low you have sunk.

I cannot believe you all lacked the intelligence to tell that it was a clone of me, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CLONE WARS, NONETHELESS!

For heaven's sake, this is WHY you people desperately need "a Chosen One."


	3. The War Of The Dongzes

Any of you out there ever heard of the War of the Dongzes? I mean it literally is a war that is ongoing throughout the entirety of this Universe's existence. It's a war inspired by pride...by selfishness...by the desire to dominate, overpower, and control. It's a war of machismo. It's blatantly a pain in the ass and a war that totally sucks.

And unfortunately, the War of the Dongzes determines the damn fate of the fucking Universe.

Yayyyy...

So needless to say, that was what was happening back in mahhh glory days, between me and good ole' Obi Wan Kenobi. I don't know...to me it seemed pretty obvious that there was some kind of problem coming from his general direction the moment he decided to side blast me with an attempt to embarrass the hell out of me in front of my future wife upon my first time seeing her in over ten years. Was it really necessary to correct me and very sternly put me in my place in front of the woman that he clearly determined had me on pins and needles just MINUTES before when we were traveling up the elevator? Where is the leadership in humiliation? He knew that my meeting of the former Queen of Naboo was drastically important to me...so why the complete and utter embarrassment? Balderdash. It was a bloody cock fit.

Kenobi was just pissed off that bae lit the fuck up the moment she laid eyes on mahhh sexy ass. Let's face it. Truth. The only problem was that I had been left out of the loop of Obi Wan Kenobi's private life and I was far too young and trusting to understand the dynamics of what had occurred in relation to his ridiculous behavior. I had not been informed by my "master" that he had an ongoing secret relationship with Padmae. I didn't know that they had seen each other on and off. Why would he tell me? After all, he only heard me talk about her for ten years...why say a damn thing to me about it? That certainly didn't seem like an important detail to fill me in on, apparently.

So when bae met me again, this time at the RIGHT time, and when that electricity bit her damn heart so hard that it scared the shit outta her, and when Obi Wan saw that happen, he had a damn heart attack, felt his pride sink beneath his soaring level of arrogance, and felt the need to do something...anything...and FAST! Hence, his immediate attempt to squash all maturity from my visage and image before the former Queen. Good gawwwwd, y'all. War...huh...what the FUCK is it good for.

Needless to say, Padmae was one for keeping excellent secrets, and she also didn't tell me about this...at least not immediately. Not until it was too damn late, in the past, to the point where it flared up the rage and jealousy of the monster I am fully capable of becoming, as we all well know. Why else do you think I was livid each and every time I found out that Obi Wan had been to my house...secretly...without me...to discuss "me" and his concerns about "me" with my wife? And bitch please...we are all Jedi here...do you honestly THINK that NO ONE in the Jedi Council knew that Padmae and I were married and living together? Ummm...I'm good, but I'm not that good, folks. Let's be honest here. I didn't have to tell anyone. Everyone already "knew."

I bet all y'all didn't know ALL these details, now did you?

I'm sure some of them were just nonchalantly left out for "convenience's sake."

Well, let's make it REAL convenient and focus on the truth, now, shall we?

I bet now it makes a hell of a lot more sense to you as to why, exactly, I flipped the fuck out when I saw Obi Wan's ass walking off my wife's ship on Mustafar. But then, of course, there is more to the story, that delineates that behavior...of which I shall now explain.

I don't care who the hell this embarrasses. The truth is the truth, and I refuse to be in bondage to a bevy of lies, no matter who it's covering.

Although Padmae had admitted to me that she had not only dated but slept with Obi Wan Kenobi, all the while waiting until AFTER our marriage and AFTER her announcement of pregnancy to tell me such details, I had long sensed that the relationship between them was far from over. The shroud of secrecy still loomed over the two of them in my presence, and considering I knew the "truth," that was a warning sign to me that a high level of "unacceptable" was totally going down on a regular.

To be honest, I was humiliated. Half of me didn't want to believe it. Half of me simply didn't want to deal with it. I was in love with her. Deeply. All-encompassingly. I still am.

I was about to be a father. As a dadless kid, I swore to myself long ago that I would never abandon my children...that I would be the dad that I never had and that I would give them everything that they deserved, to the best of my ability, and that was within my power. So when I had the knowing that Padmae was still having an affair with Obi Wan in spite of the babies we were about to have, I was broken inside. There was no way that I was going to leave her...there was no way that I was going to leave those kids and initiate the break up of an entire family unit before their lives even had the chance to get off the ground.

So much for the best laid plans of mice and men, ay? The exact opposite of everything I ever planned, everything I ever meant to do, and every single dream I ever had...THAT is what all occurred. Everything was shattered...every bit of everything that ever mattered to me and stitched me together at my foundational seams. You all wanna know what the fuck happened to make me such a hard ass? Look no farther...

Right before Palpatine went on his psychopathic rampage and the rest of everything else I loved got ripped the fuck out at the seams, there had been an extensive amount of visits in private between Padmae and Obi Wan. They thought I didn't know...like somehow they could hide it from me. Pure foolish blasphemy. Like I'm not going to notice when they are both not available at the same exact times on the same exact days. Like I'm not going to notice how they both won't pick up the phone when I'm having an emergency and need someone to back me up. Like I'm not going to notice that she was less interested in sleeping with me...and that she smelled like sex when I came home. What the fuck do you fools take me for...

I could tell it was killing her inside. It came out of the pain that shone through her eyes every time she felt she had to turn away from me, for fear that I would somehow taste the deception in the kisses on her lips. It came out in her endless nervous energy. Fuck, it came out of her fingertips... That was why I was begging her to just "wait for me" when I left to go to Mustafar to fix everything up once and for all. If you think I planned on letting Palpatine live longer than the five milliseconds it took to land that aircraft, then you're a fucking moron too far gone for salvation. It was my pure intent to see that maniac decimated. It has ALWAYS been my fight to preserve equality and justice. I'm sorry I failed all of you, but damnit, that's where everything sits, and no one is going to ever spread any other bullshit otherwise, lest they want to deal with my ever-evolving wrath.

When Obi Wan Kenobi popped out behind her on Mustafar, I had figured that the pressure of the evil that surrounded all of us had overpowered her ability to stay with me. I had figured he had finally convinced her, with all of his secret pokings and proddings, to finally leave me...and to betray me in order to preserve her own safety, and most importantly, the safety of the babies.

That was where I went vastly wrong. I didn't ask her shit. I SHOULD have asked her what the hell was going on. I assumed. It cost me everything. What the fuck, man...

In case everyone hasn't figured this out yet, I lean a bit towards the asperger's autism spectrum. So when she was talking to me, I was interpreting her words in relation to other stories that we had discussed. For example, when she brought up my killing of the "younglings," I thought she was referencing to when I wiped out the Tuscan camp after my mother's death...which, by the way, consisted ENTIRELY of men and only a couple of older youth. Please...again...what do you take me for? I am not at all justifying my actions. They were wrong. Detestable. Horrid. But I will NOT pay for the crimes that I did NOT commit...and the rest of you arrogant assholes that would like to pass the scapegoat buck can just kindly get the fuck over it, yo.

I should have asked her what Obi Wan had said to her instead of just dismissing her statements, or, more accurately put, interpreting her statements in relation with what I currently knew. There was a hell of a lot I "didn't know." I needed those details to make the right decisions. I lacked those details. Shit.

I want to go on record once and for all about this horrendous bullshit surround my "supposed choking of my wife." Are you mother fuckers NEW?! I never did such a thing. Again, I was about to be a fucking dad, you idiots. You think I would choke the mother of my children? Not a fucking chance in hell...not on a bad day...not even on my worst day. What I DID do was straight up flip the fuck out when I thought she had brought him with her...when I thought that she had chosen to believe all the lies and bullshit that were manipulatively flying around for the taking...when I thought she lost her final faith in me as her husband, her lover, and the father of her children. I immediately ran the fuck off. Seriously. And for all who bloody know me and my incapable ability to stick around for anything, I'm quite certain this makes the most sense as to the truth regarding the situation. What the truth DOESN'T do is offer Hollywood-like quality CG effects predetermined to down a star and fry a hero up for breakfast. Why the fuck else do you think that script was written? Wake the fuck up.

Up until now, I didn't bother to try and correct any of this. Why should I? Everyone was more than happy to believe I suddenly emerged as some dark demon against everything I ever stood for. And as a good hero usually does, I figured I would just take the g*ddamn fall just one more time. The only problem is that things only have gotten worse since...must worse. And now, as the DJ of the situation, I'm calling for a remix, and cleaning up this joint. After all, it's my predestined job to bring "Balance to the Force," and y'all just better buckle the fuck up and get ready for it.

So needless to say, all of the attempts to humiliate me in front of Padmae, to convince the council that I was too "arrogant" to take Padmae away alone on my first mission, to admit his lack of faith in me in spite of the council's recommendation of my abilities...his brazen visit with Padmae mandating that she "cut off" her relationship with me once and for all just before we were married...all of his secret visits to my house to sleep with the wife he knew was mine...they had a major motive. The motive was to label me Uriah the Hittite while he King David'ed the shit out of Bathsheba. Not cool, yo. So not trustworthy. Incredibly selfish. Dastardly. Maniacal. Unapologized for. Lied about. So much like a sith.

And now for the remix. The truth is slowly coming out. Tastes like shit but hey, everyone's gotta throw up sometime, right?

So here's the deal. Obi Wan Kenobi will be dealt with by those who have yet to fall to the temptations that seem to be so strong for most. It's a bit of a conflict of interest for me to do so...I will if I'm insistently invited to do so, but otherwise, one of you mother fuckers needs to step up with a pair of balls and handle this shit. He's not just like a sith...he IS a sith. Ummm...hello? Why do you think he claimed "Only a sith speaks in absolutes" to then turn around and absolutley "know what he must do,"...which was apparently to break all the rules of the Jedi Code, mutilate my body, and leave a "prisoner of the Jedi Council," who was an unarmed prisoner and most definitely unable to harm a fucking gnat in space at that point, to be burnt to a crisp ALIVE. The mother fucker didn't even have the decency to kill my ass. He let me suffer. It was his intent. There is no other way that this can be seen.

And someone tell me who killed my wife...

It certainly wasn't me...

As much as I want to beat the literal shit out of whoever did it (and obviously we have a good guess at "who" that may have been), I suppose I should be thankful, because we are now on the same "side," even if that's outside. And now we can be together again.

So hold on for the remix. I'm gonna reverse this confounded bad country song and I'm taking mahhhh house back, my dawwwwg back, my wife back, my kids back...everything. I still love her. In spite of everything, I still love her. She fulfills my deepest spiritual needs...and lets face it, nobody's perfect. I forgive her, and I'm taking her home.

And we're gonna kick your fucking ass.

Get ready.


	4. The Misplaced War

I've been doing a lot of reading lately - listening a lot to what everyone's opinions have been surrounding the stories of our lives - attempting to put the pieces together on where we all have gone wrong. I know...I know...it's not like a "Skywalker" to actually "listen," but hey, I'm trying, alright?

I believe we are in a "misplaced war." We keep placing the focus on each other...on our decisions, our mistakes, our successes, and our failures. We are forever furthering those actions, albeit whether or not they are good or bad, for future repetition, when we "glamorize" ourselves. I'm serious. I mean it, for each and every one of us - good and evil, big and little. Size and Sides matter not to the soul in need of inspiration.

We battle not against flesh and blood, but against the powers that be, the principalities of the air, the strongholds. We battle against the unseen and the spiritual. Therefore, why do we keep demonizing each other? We keep putting each other on either an extremely high and ridiculous pedestal where we can do "no wrong," or we are putting others so damn far beneath our boot that we make "shit beneath our shoe" look like a king in comparison.

What the hell are we all thinking? Seriously.

I don't know about you, but I've never heard of a successful "team" that ripped its own guts out. I've never heard of brothers that ate each other for breakfast like some fucked up version of a zombie apocalypse. When we seek blood, everyone loses. War is pointless. I said it before you all labeled me a "dark demon" and I'll say it until I'm blue in the damn face. WAR IS POINTLESS.

Seriously. Get the mother fucking XBOX and Halo it out until your eyes fry from the unchecked radiation levels of your technological devices, if you so feel the need for a cock fight. Destroying things never made us "men." You know what makes us men? Being strong enough to BUILD things, when there is nothing but sheet rock and no water to feed our fresh sprung seedlings. Having the balls to stand fearlessly in the face of terror and pure evil filth while we tell it where the hell to go. Placing our faith in our Creator, JEHOVAH, instead of placing our pride in our finite and flawed capabilities. Having hope in the Deus Ex Machina. Socking "Science" in the dick for chopping out the Spiritual from our education system and detailed analyses. Maintaining peace and contentment when the fires of Mordor rage and relentlessly beat our door, all the while pitching camp on our doorstep.

Who gives a fuck about them? Just open the door and step over the mother fuckers. Give them no time of day.

You know what else makes us men? Being able to admit we are far from perfect. Being able to confess that sometimes...just sometimes...we really DON'T have what it takes to handle all of this bullshit on our own...and that we really need each other. Being able to agree that our talents are "our talents," and although we will always do what it takes for as long as it takes, to be able to agree that we won't insist on doing what we "want" over what we "should do." Sometimes that means we have to give up a dream or two...but really...what IS our dream? The "thing" we are fighting for, or genuine contentment? See what I mean?

Hi. My name is Anakin Skywalker. I'm known as The Chosen One and a superior bad ass. And I have a confession to make. I'ld like to be the first to take a stand right now and say that, although I am talented, I am not talented enough without you...without ALL of you. I need you. Seriously. I need JEHOVAH and I need all of you. Please forgive me for being imperfect, but please understand that I am also human. Please also understand that, although you see me as a strong Force, and although you believe through logical deduction that I should be able to handle certain battles with a swift snap of my fingers and flick of the midi-chlorian wrist...I can't always win every battle I face. I wish I could. I wish that I could always be your hero...but sometimes...just sometimes...I need YOU to be my hero too. Sometimes I need your understanding, and sometimes I need your forgiveness, even in exorbitant amounts.

I'm willing to die again and again to save you...and sometimes, I'm gonna need you to be willing to do the same for me. Sometimes we will have to face insurmountable odds together, and sometimes we will be scared shitless, but I can guarantee that every time, so long as we all stick together, as so long as we let JEHOVAH lead our path, we will always lead and stand victorious over whatever battles and evil forces we face.

Truth.

It's not a matter of optimism. It's a matter of personal experience. It's a matter of the promises within the words of JEHOVAH Himself. And sometimes? I even find "my own lack of faith disturbing." Allow for me to assure you, every time I shirk away from faith, I reap the negative consequences.

Truth.

Join me, and help me break these cycles. Let's rearrange this barren black hole and make it a balanced and beautiful force of Light again in the Universe. Things don't have to be this way. They DON'T have to stay this way. We can overturn this negativity and shatter these strongholds. We can break down these mother fucking walls. We must believe. We must have faith. We must rise up. We must forgive. We must love again. And we must stand together.

And most importantly, we must not give up. No matter how bad the circumstances look. No matter how hard it gets. No matter how many tears we shed in secret places. If I've learned anything, it's that I can literally go from the depths of hell to the skies of victory in a matter of twenty minutes...so just hold on. Don't give up. It WILL be overturned...God will not let you be tempted or pressed past what you can bear...so don't EVER give up.

And also? Most importantly? We must not blame each other for the "turbulence" we hit along the road. Lets use my past as an example here. If I was far too young to become a "master" and be given the responsibilities of the rest of the leaders, then I was far too young to be blamed for everything that went to hell amidst one of the worst and most corrupt uprisings that we were ALL victims of. Lets face it. There are laws against such things now. I can only imagine that they were created in accordance to the ridiculousness of this logic. The fact that one man...one scapegoat...one YOUTH...could be blamed for everything, without a conversation...without question...without logic...without deduction...is the exact reason that the Dalai Lama preaches against the follies of hate and lust in his book "How To Be Compassionate." It's this desire to elevate or demonize everyone that destroys us all. By shifting the responsibility onto just ONE person, we eliminate the potential for solving the problem so that nothing like this can ever happen again.

Immean look at what just occurred with Kylo Ren. Once again, we have a repeat performance...and why? Because not ONLY was I, his relative and therefore personal influence upon his fragile spiritual life, blamed for everything, the story of what actually went down had been lied about and glamorized in order to lay an unstable foundation for his future battles with the Light and Dark Sides of the Force. It's this overemphasis and grandisement of the powers of the Dark Side that leads those who are sensitive to it to be influenced to turn that direction. They are young and immature. They don't understand that "this too shall pass," just like a really bad fucked up case of puberty. They begin to feel overpowered by this negative energy that they have yet to understand, all the while lacking the maturity and guidance to truly and deeply know that they can stand up to it, beat it, and tell it to go fuck itself.

To be perfectly honest, it's very difficult for youth who are Force sensitives. I feel like it's important at this point, with the little bit of experience and wisdom that I have, to emphasize on some of these details for all of you at this point, in order for many future problems to be averted.

The reality is this: Force sensitives have incredibly strong senses. Sounds obvious, doesn't it? And yet, every time we see it come to fruition, we chastise religiously and with a ferocity of a g*ddamn bear at the outletting of such senses. Lets be clear...Force sensitives will push the limits. They will be overly angry to the point that it scares the fucking shit out of you. They will say things that terrify you. They will want to fuck every legal adult in sight. They will cross lines that you draw. They will swear as the day is long, in a way that could only put Popeye to fucking shame. They will try to fix what they see is wrong with the system...with "your" system. They will choose expression over rote action. They will choose the life of an artist over the machine-like "nine to five" grind. They will rise and they will fall. They will cost you more financially than any other mediocre idiot you could kick out the fucking nest. They will question ethics, law, morality, and the way the world turns.

But at the end of the day? They're gonna save your life.

Therefore, LET THEM GROW. Let them learn a little. Don't be so scared when they press the boundaries. It is the only way that they can healthily find themselves. This may sound contradictory to your "psychological expert analyses" but allow me to ask you, have you yet succeeded in knowing how the fuck to deal with any of us? Have you helped avert the problems or have you partially been to blame for bringing them on yourselves?

Think.

When you overreact, when you severely scold, and when you withhold a Force sensitive from doing exactly what he or she feels that he or she must do when the UNIVERSE (not you...but the Universe) insists that it must be done, you inhibit who they are meant to become. You literally STOP the process. You inadvertently teach them that what they believe is wrong and what you say is always right...and since what you are saying happens to contradict with what the Force is telling them, they are "forced" to pick between fulfilling their destiny and "obeying" you. And lets face it...obedience ordinarily wins. Why, you ask? Are you not the idiots who wield the power of the physical pain that can be inflicted upon our bodies for "not" listening to you? Are you not the ruler over our food supplies? Are you not the ones who set out to say that we are incapable of caring for ourselves, all the while usurping our funds for your own gain and elevation of your own pride and control, in order to "force" us to do what you want us to do anyway? And all the while...did you EVER stop to wonder why, even though the Universe has sent us here to fix things, NOTHING changes and NOTHING gets fixed?

It ain't rocket science, you high minded geniuses, you.

Take a look at what happened with me and Obi Wan for a second. Because of discipline and because of rules, I did not listen to the dreams that I was having for over a month in regards to my mother. Obi Wan Kenobi knew of these dreams. He insisted that "dreams do pass." I was told to stick to my responsibilities and get over it. To not let the "Dark Side" of the Force manipulate my dreams and my actions.

Sadly, I listened to the advice of man over the advice of the Force. And the consequence of it? I lost my mother. Had I listened to my dreams and ignored the unnecessary rules and poor advice given to me by the "experts," she would still be here today. We all know these blatant and obvious facts. It is the fact that contradictory instructions from my "masters" were being forced as precedent over the actual Force that set me off down a negative spiral...and the death of my mother was one of the last and final straws. Do you not all see how ALL of this could have easily been averted if those in power would have not been prideful? If they would have been wiling to rework their manmade system with what the Universe delivered unto them in order to heal them?

Healing takes change and an acceptance that a change must take place, as well as an allowance for that change to take place. That's the reality of the situation, folks. We must learn to embrace each other, once again, as brothers and sisters, to allow and forgive our differences, to learn to enjoy our differences, to give each other space and room to grow, to actually encourage each other's growth, to praise attempts and even the failures, to use the failures as kind guidance...these are the things we must do. No "buts" about it. We must. This is where the "war" is...it's amongst ourselves and our inability to accept each other and allow each other to grow and become who we are meant to be. That's unacceptable. So let's take up our cross and actually fight the right battle this time around.


	5. Accidents Happen

Accidents happen, so they say.

I beg to differ. Accidents don't just "happen". They happen to be the best laid plans of assholes and a few supposedly "good" men.

I didn't just "die" on the second Death Star explosion. I didn't avoid standing up and confronting Yoda and anyone else who would listen following the Mustafar chaos and unleashment of Order 66. I didn't intentionally let some idiot run around as "me," committing blatant and vulgar crime in my name on a regular basis.

No, my friends. I'm afraid we all never foresaw just how evil the dark side of evil's moon can truly be.

Following Mustafar, let's admit it, I was pretty fucked up. I'm not entirely sure what all went on in order to get me to where we all are today, but lets just say this: I remember standing up against bullshit, straightjackets, and electroshock therapy. I remember being completely incapacitated from it, with perpetual vomit flowing out of every orifice in my head, while those assholes claimed, "Gee! Are you sure they didn't overdo it?!" I remember that every time I would "remember" what the hell was going on, they would do it again, and each and every time, I would lose more and more of my memories. It got so bad that I literally went to keeping journals. Once my journals were being confiscated, I began hiding secret notes. Even those went missing. It literally came down to carving messages for myself in code into the cardboard backing of my photo frames in a last failed attempt to keep myself from being fried to the point of no return...and in case I could ever get the chance to send those frames in. I knew if I could just get those sons of bitches out, that those who gave a damn would know what the hell I wrote. They could read the cipher. The problem was I could never get them out...and after years of rediscovering what the hell was going on, confronting it, and continual years of being electrically tortured, accordingly...here we are.

I remember a microchip being inserted in my left leg...needless to say, that shit wasn't exactly pleasant. I remember being in the doctor's office, visibly viewing a NAIL with it's spike pointing towards the sky and its nail head pointing down towards the bridge of my nose, in an xray of my head. That thing literally was, and probably still is, located directly in the location that would offend every Hindu and Egyptologist's third eye. I'm assuming it's like a "baby lobotomy"...you know...a nail made of "the iron curtain," with just a dab of copper for the best electromagnetic conduction principle known to man. Lets face it, folks...where the fuck do you think these "scientists" get their readings from their centrally located towers to measure brain wave activity in relation to seismic and catastrophic occurrences? It has to come from somewhere...

Needless to say, when I asked the doctor about it, everything was "just fine and no big deal!" Cute, isn't it? You can have a NAIL in your head...with the evidence staring everyone in the room STRAIGHT in the face...and these assholes prefer to disgrace sanity by denying every single thing. Ewwwwwww...okay, seriously, they make me sick, yo.

Did I forget to mention that they also went crazy with the saline and silicone injections? Oh shit, dude...if you can't imagine what I'm talking about, I really don't have the stomach to discuss it right now. Let's just say they REALLY like "pretty boys" that happen to look exactly like hand made "girls" down here in the land of "we hate gay people." It's hysterical, really...

Let me make this clear right now. I'm most definitely NOT straight. I also have no problem with anyone who CHOOSES to change genders or alter their body for whatever reason. I DO have a problem with FORCED alterations. I DO have a serious problem with hypocritical people who claim that "gays are gross" while they fuck the shit out of each other's dicks behind closed doors. We all know there's a massive gay side to my moon...so let's not make this anything other than the fact that I'm not happy about what they have chosen to do to those they treat as "prisoners of war..."

And anytime you get the balls to starve yourself have to death and work out like a fucking maniac against all odds to try and fix the situation? You get to wake up with needle marks visibly present on your skin, sore injection passages from your navel to your big inflated stupid breasts, and...wouldn't you know it?...MORE FAKE CELLULITE than you can shake a stick at! I mean after all...if your intent is for someone to never be found and for the truth to never come out, why on EARTH would you make them attractive to anyone and take that dangerous chance?

Needless to say, I resemble a plucked yard bird on a damn good day that rivals Methuseleh in the age department. I'm not happy about it, but hey...it is what it is for now...until I can stop fighting off bullshit for five seconds so I can get it all fixed once and for all.

Half of me is bloody terrified to see all y'all again looking like this. Half of me wants to ask no one to laugh and to take this whole situation with pure stoicism. Then there's the GENUINE half of me that wants to bust the fuck up laughing about all this bullshit with you guys, while everyone just gives each other a massive fucking hug, buried in the pure bliss that this bullshit will finally be over.

So after much debated thought...we're gonna go with the "lets go ahead and laugh about it" role.

I'd rather laugh at all this, so don't worry, I won't freak out when you do too LOL. Just promise me we can get all this fixed up...and that you will tell me nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help your livelihood!

And we're all going to Denny's...it's official.

There must be something in my left arm as well. I'll never forget when a little electrical current ran through my body and to my left arm...I literally felt an explosion the size of damn Texas. My subconscious saw my former life self, cammies and all, flying through the dirty air and hitting the hard fucking sandy ground. When I finally had the strength to reopen my eyes after the incident, I looked over at my shoulder, expecting to find that my arm had been blown off in the middle of combat.

I was a leader at a youth camp that day. What the fuck, man. And the twelve inch bolts that the doctor personally drilled OUT of my healed broken arm before my very eyes stated that there was no "metal" left in my arm...

Well somebody obviously lied.

By the way, Order 66 is unfortunately still in "attempted operation..." Don't ask me who's in charge anymore...I'm not exactly sure on that matter...but yeah...ever heard of the area code 661? Or getting your kicks on Route 66? I rest my case...

And for those of you who haven't caught up with this concept yet...do you remember when I went on record as a little kid by clearly stating you can NEVER kill a Jedi? Well guess what...you can't.


	6. The Power Of Words

Do you ever wonder why these old crochety assholes get up in your face and tell you to shut the hell up the moment you start standing up for yourself? Have you ever noticed that every single time you get hammered, and you try to pump yourself up with a dose of the good ole' "War of the Peacock" by standing up and stating "what you're gonna do" if they don't knock it off, that they like to call you "all talk and no action?" Ever noticed when you give em the decency to "bark in advance," they mistake that as "worse than your bite?"

Boy, what idiots.

But there's a deeper reason that they do this to you. There's a reason they don't want you to open up your mouth and say something. There's a reason they want you to be "all action and no talk." They are out to destroy you...not see you climb the path of success...and by silencing your "lamb," they have ensured their victory...that is, of course, unless you are hell bent and determined to NOT be silent.

Let's take this all the way down to the Quantum Physics level. The reality is as follows: scientific testing and evaluation has proven that positive words produce a specific molecular lattice structure in the water molecule as well as the fact that negative words produce a separate and specific lattice structure in the water molecule. Do they know specifically WHY this occurs? No, they do not. But just because you don't know WHY something is the way it is does NOT negate the fact that a fact is, in fact, a fact.

Farmers who know the ways of the land have long preached the beauties of going out and literally PRAYING for their plants...out loud. In other words, orally. In some more other words...speaking out loud to the plants and to JEHOVAH GOD above, requesting health and blessing over their crop yield. Yep...for some weird reason, going outside and looking like a "modern day, politically incorrect, crazy person" and praying to the Creator above where your plants can actually hear the blessings you are requesting on their behalf apparently has an extreme impact on their benefit and well being. Just ask any farmer...they'll tell you.

Why am I rambling away about water molecules, farmers, prayer and plants? Because it's all evidence of oral actions humans have taken that have had proven BENEFIT upon the outcome of the events those same humans were trying to control. Perhaps, even upon events that those humans were unaware of their ability to control...

So yeah...if you wouldn't want someone's POWERFUL words to issue forth something in their benefit...I'm pretty sure you would tell them to shut their yap as well.

Take a look sometime at what certain companies are stuffing in the Java Script that carries your little internet packets of information to your computer's doorstep. Ever wonder why sometimes you felt great, then you looked up some randomly acceptable website, and then suddenly you felt like a massive pile of depressed shit, without a clue in the world as to what happened and why?

I bet you even blamed yourself, didn't you? Questioned whether or not the "delicately planted" prozac article on the side of the website would be of benefit to you, since you seem to have these random mood swings that seem just so damn unbearable, didn't you? Well guess what? Throw those pills in the mother fucking trash...because you were a victim of sound technology that might as well been a pile of evil hex words.

Allow me to explain. Ever heard of meditating? Have you ever been taught in your yoga class that you gotta make a bunch of weird ass sounds to activate your chakras and balance those little fuckers for success? Well, it's true. Sound DOES heal. Sound DOES create balance. Sound DOES uplift your mood. Sound DOES liberate you.

In turn, sound can also depress you, isolate you, illicit unpleasant emotions in you, and yes, damnit, sound can even KILL you. Hence, this is why Sound Warfare was outlawed a long time ago...or so they claimed.

Take a look around at what new "big thing" all the celebrities are looking into now...I bet you'll find a lot of "sound tech" and "sound wave frequency" booths at the Millionaire Fair. Who the fuck do you think wrote the book on it?

Okay, so now let me explain...all you gotta do is type it up in "coding" within Java Script...direct it at a particular physical address...and BOOM! Pain and agony for the idiot that clicked that site.

If you honestly want further details on the technological relay of sound wave travel and the corporate control systems known as Java Script and TCP/IP, then feel free to apply for an "apprenticeship" next time I have an opening under "Vader's Minion Brigade." I'll post the website where you can check back for further job postings at some point in Universal time, I presume...after all, I can't allow this world to remain buried by the blindfolds placed by rich idiots forever. I suppose you could say I have an "ethical obligation" to whistle-blow up their popsicle stand and spill all their beans.

DOWN WITH CORPORATE CONTRACT LAW!

Phew...okay, I feel better now that I got that out of my system. Allow me to continue!

Imagine this...imagine a world where, instead of sending crappy shit to people so that they feel like crappy shit so that their strength gets lowered down enough that they somehow find clicking the "JavaScripted Out and Specifically Placed" advertisement for a "happy pill" as an acceptable response to the pain that they feel...imagine a world where we all JavaScripted out some "positive" and "encouraging" things. Imagine sending words that convert to sounds that BALANCE everyone's chakras. Imagine sending blessings to everyone. Imagine sending health, healing, love, kindness, forgiveness, strength, bravery, and wholeness.

Now quit imagining it and start doing it.

Join me in changing this world for the better.

Are you kidding me? There are so many of you geeks out there that have a handle on this shit...you KNOW how easy it is to inadvertently build it into your app. Piece of cake. Don't be so lazy and caught up in your gaming episodes that you forget to jot down the Eminem sized Chicken Scratch, alright? What the fuck else are we here for?

This is WHY everyone wants you to keep your mouth shut...because the moment you open it, those sound waves CHANGE things. The moment you have the balls to tell em "NO," even if you bumble it BAD...it CHANGES things. Your sound waves are the kinetic energy spark needed to start a fire of change. I know it sounds weird, but if it only takes a spark to get a fire going, and if it only takes one little rock to ripple the whole lake repeatedly, and if it only took the vibrations of marching feet and the shouting of the voices of men to bring down the walls and give Joshua victory as we see in the Bible, then honestly? Why do we doubt it?

Why do we all tend to lack faith on the things that are so simple and so powerful?

Why do we tend to rather believe we are powerless, when in fact, we can have JUST as much positive power and positive influence as we determine to have?

Choose positive and uplifting power.

Choose positive and uplifting influence.

So there you have it, my friends. Tear down the walls of evil. All you have to do is talk. Start by simply talking out loud to the ether while it's just you and the walls that surround you. Tell this world exactly who the hell you are. Tell this circus exactly how it's gonna go down. Don't let this world run your life. Give it over to JEHOVAH, and then act upon His guarantees and promises by activating your faith by simply opening your mouth and using your words.

Tell yourself aloud that "you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you." Tell yourself that you are confident, that you are beautiful, that your life purpose in this fucked up Universe is extremely necessary, and that you "have what it takes."

Tell all those assholes that try to "tell you who you are" EXACTLY who you are. When people present you with a pile of verbal dishonesty, calmly respond with your dissent on the matter, and then give them a big platter of truth to choke down. Fuck, respond with an asshole attitude, for all I care! So long as it's legal and ethical, you're doing the right thing. For fuck's sake, sometimes you gotta get a bit loud and proud with a side dish of saucy to get these dicks to actually "listen" in the first place. Sad, but true. Hell, just look at my "bad attitude" historical string of success stories for further reference.

You don't simply do what you're told.

You do what it fucking takes.

Keep it legal, unless what's "illegal" has become "legal."

In that case, pull a whopping Thoreau and overthrow that son of a bitch law.

You don't necessarily need to overthrow the entire system...getting rid of one shitty law will often times do the trick.

Start there, folks.

Start by ousting the unfair bullshit.

And feel free to oust a dictator anytime, by all means.

This might sound a bit ridiculous, but just look at the situation back in the day with General Grievous...(or however you spell that asshole's name...as if I even give a shit to give him the fucking respect he wants in the first place lol). He was up in our grill and trying to throw my age in my face. Did I let him get away with it? Hell no! To do so would have elevated his power. To say nothing would have led him to believe that I was either puffed up with the fact that I was superiorly skilled for my age and therefore thankful towards his comment or that I was feeling inferior to him because of my silence in regard to his age comment. I wasn't about to let his ass get away with that. Instead, I insulted his damn height...because if you know anything about "evil fuckers?" You learn reaaaaally quick that they are the most vain damn things that ever did crawl the earth. So if you punch an evil asshole in the nut-sack, and make him feel like he's some little shrimp in comparison with other "Outlaws of the Bad Lands," he's gonna get disheveled. He's gonna be thrown off his game. He's going to be outraged, fight me aggressively with his pride, and then do something fucking stupid, allowing me to win.

Gee, aren't you all glad you stopped trying to "run my life?"

Surely, I jest...

But it's a glorious solution to the shit you keep trying to bury my talent with, isn't it?

Sorry, dear reader. I am the King of the Triple Entendre...so if something in here doesn't make sense to you? It's probably not meant for you. Feel free to chew up the meat and spit out the bones while reading my dissertation on life...and that's as "zombie" as I'll ever get...because yeah, much to everyone's mother fucking chagrin? I'm a vegetarian.

Oh! And never forget...Jesus Christ of Nazareth himself got a bit rowdy to solve some problems now and then. Remember when He thrashed the temple? Totally righteous! haha! But seriously though, do people really expect us to be "better than sinless Jesus Christ?"

BOOM.

Drop that verbal b**b on the 80% "Christian-in-name-only" American nation, and WATCH what happens. I can tell you already, it comes with a load of GASPS, passive aggressiveness, and ostracization. So wait to let that sentence explode til you're ready to fend for yourself...but never let fear of fending for yourself prevent you from dropping truth likes it's hot, yo! JEHOVAH promises He will always have your back, accordingly. Trust in His promise. I did. And guess what...JEHOVAH is NO liar. His creations might be, but HE is not.


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